From the moment of our conception, things are always changing. In any given moment, something is happening. Cells divide, organs begin to develop, and nine months later, a new baby is born. And once the baby is born, there is much to do. Cut the umbilical chord, clean the baby’s mouth and nose, take measurements, and begin nursing. Everyday, the baby grows and makes new connections in her brain, and begins to coo and vocalize. Soon, the baby will take her first steps and say her first words. It is the beginning of many more “firsts” to come.
And so it goes, for the rest of our childhood, adolescent, and adult years. We may not have as many firsts in adulthood, but time marches on. It’s easy for the days to blend together once we become adults. But, there is some solace in the fact that things don’t change too much once we’re older. Take, for example, the presence of our loved ones being with us.
Back in 2006, I remember John Mayer’s album, Continuum making its debut. Now, think what you will about John Mayer, but despite his public antics, he is a prolific songwriter. This album is one of the most underrated albums out there. One song always struck me, a song called “Stop This Train”.
Mayer sings about how he is realizing that time is moving on, and his parents are aging. He sings about how he just wants time to freeze, for this train of life to stop moving so fast.
Stop This Train
No, I’m not color blind
I know the world is black and white
I try to keep an open mind
But I just can’t sleep on this, tonight
Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can’t take the speed it’s moving in
I know I can’t
But, honestly, won’t someone stop this train?
Don’t know how else to say it
I don’t want to see my parents go
One generation’s length away
From fighting life out on my own
Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can’t take the speed it’s moving in
I know I can’t
But, honestly, won’t someone stop this train?
So scared of getting older
I’m only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said, “Help me understand”
He said, “Turn sixty-eight
You’ll renegotiate”
“Don’t stop this train
Don’t for a minute change the place you’re in
And don’t think I couldn’t ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly, we’ll never stop this train”
Once in a while, when it’s good
It’ll feel like it should
When you’re all still around
And you’re still safe and sound
And you don’t miss a thing
‘Till you cry when you’re driving away in the dark
Singing, stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can’t take the speed it’s moving in
I know, I can’t
‘Cause now I see I’ll never stop this train.
My mom underwent surgery this last Friday. I was a nervous wreck for about a week, and her health problems have been weighing heavily on my heart all month. I wish I could take them away. I wish she didn’t have to suffer the way she does. But she is the strongest person I know, and never complains. She just keeps on, keeping on. My mom is my hero.
On Thursday evening, I kept thinking…what if something went wrong during surgery? What would my life be like without my mom? What would I do? I know some of you, dear readers, have lost parents or other loved ones. Maybe you have even lost a child. I wish, for all of us, that we could stop time, just freeze it for a moment, when the ones we love are here, and they are healthy.
But, this train of life keeps chugging along. The best thing we can do is to tell those in our life that we love them, and cherish the time we have with them. You will never regret that afternoon walk with your ailing grandparent. If you’ve been estranged from a family member, consider reconciling. If you live far away from your parents, pick up the phone and call them. Better yet, plan a visit. It takes a little bit of effort, but it is in these moments, that life happens.
Since we can’t stop this train, let’s enjoy the ride as much as we can.
Until then,
Sheila